It Was All A Dream

Hello, For those of you who don't know my name is Alexis. My other name is "Lillian" for those familiar with me on face and get confused on how to address me. I needed a quick suter name so that my crazy, psycho, alcoholic ex-boyfriend wouldn't find me. (That's a different story for later, if you're willing/ curious)

Recently, I've been having crazy dreams / nightmares and I wake up either in a state of Panic or Loss. In which I immediately set forth to get a Hug from my amazing loving boyfriend who reassures me it was just a dream, and that he is still here. That is very comforting for me. Because last night... last night was insane. 

Last night I dreampt that I was at a local diner (oddly enough, eating alone) I had order a Turkey Burger and waffle fries for myself and a regular burger w/ all the fixin's and sweet potato fries for my love (to-go) and yet they delivered both burgers to me on one plate (which makes no sense, but whatever...) and as I'm chomping away at my delicious Turkey Burger the waitress approaches me and says,
"Honey, You're Glowing... are you eating for 2?" and I choked on my fry. I said, "Excuse me??"
" You're pregnant, right?"
" Not last I checked..."
" Oh, pardon me for being intrusive I just thought with all the food, and the Beautiful glow about you that..."
" Thank you, I'll take the check when you get a chance and have the rest of this wrapped up to-go please."
"Right away, excuse me again."

So I pay for my half eaten meal and make headway to whereever My love was hanging out for the evening to deliver him his burger and finish eating mine.
I get to the place and I start making my way up the stairs when I look up to see how many more steps I have, and just like Vertigo and the stair case grew emensly. Before I could even let my brain explode I just kept accelerating up the stairs until i finally come to a door marked " Enter If You Dare " and I could help but ask, " Where the Fuck am I ? What Is this Place? And Why is he HERE?" I entered through the creepy wood-rotten door and make my way through the dusty old dump of a "Hang out spot" and find a room full of complete strangers and my love, eyes all blood shot and the looks of confusion about them all. I walk towards him and hand over his burger and he looks and me / the burger as if he didn't remember he ordered it. I then hear a loud bang/ explosion type sound and turn to noticed some moron is lighing fire works from the fire escape (no pun intended if there were to be one..)  I turn back to look at my love and he's just starring at me. Like, he wasn't even sure who I was... and he says, " you don't belong here. "  I can't even describe what emotion took over me next but very confused and destraught I said to him, " what? are you kidding me? You don't belong here, whereever here even is... " and he says " No, You don't belong here. Who are you ? "
And very taken back by that statement I turned around and left. Suddenly there were less steps on my way down. I cried the whole way home and took a pregnancy test (because also had the waitress' words on my mind as well..) it came back possitive. And all i could think about was that the father of my un-born child doesn't know who i even am.
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&& Then I woke up.

Horrified. 1. I'm pretty sure I'm NOT pregnant & 2. My Love is still very aware of who I am and loves me as much as he did, if not more , than the day He first said " I love You"

*deep breathe*

It was All A Dream A horrible, fucked up twisted dream that I cannot for the life of me make any sense of.

For now, that is all.